Skip to main content

really with the shit

 7:59AM    

    for the first time on this blog, I'm just pouring out thoughts. I've used this blog recently actually only as a check in for my artistry. I've come to realize I have a tough time trying to put my emotions into words in conversation. writing has always been a release, and im tryna find that this AM.


first off, I just felt a degree of hopelessness this am as soon as I woke up. I cried in front of a friend yesterday and they stormed out when I couldn't encapsulate how I was feeling. homie didn't help when he left and said something about talking to someone since I wouldn't to him *door closes*


idk bout y'all but that shit didn't fucking help. I went to the gym yesterday after that and got a good leg day in, but came home and depression slept from 4pm till: well, now. 

I felt a bit manic the days before yesterday, not for any particular reason, just gratuitous amounts of energy and a lil bit of them fast thoughts feel me. I wouldn't call it racing thoughts but, def some manicness to my aura; anyway the whip of bi polar cracked, and I found myself depressed and here we are trying to figure out why lol 


I'll tell you what, the reflective process alone already has helped immensely with my mood any energy

I still couldn't really tell you why I was feeling off yesterday, but I will say the gym has been helping as well.

lol well, call me bp but after these however many sentences, im ready to go workout so, 


I'll talk to yinz soon


- David 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

humble beginnings

10:02 PM     I've decided to finally start a blog,  specifically involving my life as an artist. On the surface, this is a daunting task to me. I'm hoping that this will be a great outlet, a way to measure and record progress, and an accountability constraint. It is my aim to become more  efficient and effective with my time within the realm of my music and content revolving around the sound.      For those who haven't been around, or I haven't caught up on my life- I moved back to Ohio on the 22nd of May, and it has so revitalizing to my soul.  In the PNW, I felt like I was constantly "wearing a mask" or changing myself like a chameleon to better suit the environment. When I came back to the Ohio valley, I immediately knew this place is what had been missing from my life. This is the  place where I didn't have to change who I was to fit in. This is the place where I standout for eximplary reasons. This is the place I call home.    ...
Post a Comment
Read more

anti-mundane, monday

 4:54 AM     As I sit here writing this blog entry, I can't help but feel excited about today. The money came through finally on my grandmother's estate, I'm dropping off the closing documents for the house sale in St. Paris, and the process with the estate is finishing up after a couple of snares. I woke up this morning, pre 4am. I smoked a cigarette, made breakfast, having coffee as I type this. I've got a nice playlist I've found that is actually a playlist that has honestly been pure vibes. NP: "Show Me How" by Men I Trust. I highly  recommend this artist's sound for any morning, seriously.     So, what's next for tracktailor? That's a good fucking question. I wish I had the answer, but I know I will find it in the processes and systems I'm setting in place now. I need to find an early morning to early afternoon gig, with weekends off. I want this job schedule because I would be able to bang out jobs for my business venture in the eveni...
Post a Comment
Read more

blessings

9:15AM      I woke up this morning at my usual time this morning (~7am) as the sun crept in through my blinded windows. As I went through my morning routine of bathroom, coffee, stretching, and breakfast, I hoped again this morning that I'd wake up miraculously with some funds in my bank account. Luckily, today was the day.     Part of the reason I moved back home was to handle the  estate for my late grandmother on my late father's side of the family. Amongst other reasons that I will specifically address I'm sure in a later blog, this was a huge factor in moving home. Not only the estate, but to be closer to my grandmother on my mother's side of the family. I think the death of my grandmother really "kick-started" my mother's ambition to be back home with her mother. Admittedly, it was the change in my life I needed.      A bit of the money finally touched down in my bank account this AM, and I finally have relief on how this month's car pa...
Post a Comment
Read more