tracktailor's trimmings

      11:27am  now playing: "rider" - juice wrld          my goodness  what a year it has been friends! since my last update, shit I can't even tell you how much life has changed, and I've grown.  looking back on previous blog posts, I can't help but laugh. the times seemed so tough, but the bitching about things that panned out now seems comical to me.  what has changed in a year? I let my heart to begin to be full. I let faith guide my life. I lost things, but I found many more.  I saw beautiful mornings, and sunrises that felt like I was beyond lost.   I found confidence, and support from others.  I finally feel like me again.  I finally broke back into the columbus scene. someone at work asked me how much I play, and I answered oh, at least 2 times a month. low and behold, in 30 days I will play six times this month.  headed to cleveland this friday--  hoping to see a good friend from por...

 7:59AM          for the first time on this blog, I'm just pouring out thoughts. I've used this blog recently actually only as a check in for my artistry. I've come to realize I have a tough time trying to put my emotions into words in conversation. writing has always been a release, and im tryna find that this AM. first off, I just felt a degree of hopelessness this am as soon as I woke up. I cried in front of a friend yesterday and they stormed out when I couldn't encapsulate how I was feeling. homie didn't help when he left and said something about talking to someone since I wouldn't to him *door closes* idk bout y'all but that shit didn't fucking help. I went to the gym yesterday after that and got a good leg day in, but came home and depression slept from 4pm till: well, now.  I felt a bit manic the days before yesterday, not for any particular reason, just gratuitous amounts of energy and a lil bit of them fast thoughts feel me. I wouldn't call...

 11:04 PM January 8th, 2025 well, here we are it's 2025 and I'm still the same son of a bitch in the wind. Shout out Corey Smith (listen to "Next Year")      I will be the first to admit, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing this year. I took a job last year at a local dispensary, and it's been great. Now I'm at a crossroads.... go all in on the marijuana industry in Ohio, or plan my own business.      I have the equipment for the business I'm looking to start, yet I was offered full time at my dispensary and want to keep climbing the corporate ladder. I know it might be smoke up my ass, but the reception of my skills and drive has been recognized and talked about in terms of a corporate position. We will see how it pans out.  I have no idea which direction I'm going in life. I don't think anyone does tbh, but it sucks rn. I haven't felt this lost in awhile, yet I'm confident. I think I can chalk a lot of these feelings to being lonely...

thurs nov 28 aka thanksgiving 8:55pm what a great day today has been. slept in, had dinner with family at noon, cleaned house, and played video games with the homies. I've been at my spot in Logan since August, and it has been vibes imo.  entering producer mode for the winter. I have my laptop station setup for making music rather than mixing it. I'm going to try to start streaming on twitch Fridays 10-2 playing music on my cdjs. I also want to stream myself producing tracks as well. I did that in the past couple months and it was a successful venture.  starting on a new track this evening!  will update later!

  six twenty two pm     My goodness, so many changes since I last wrote. I think I was still in Marietta, OH prior to a temporary move to Vienna, WV before locating to my hometown of Logan, Ohio. What a time, let's recap shall we? Lollapalooza: So on like a Wednesday or a Thursday prior to Lolla weekend in Chiraq I went to Ft. Wayne, Indiana and purchased my dream dj setup with a sound system. Shout out to Sweetwater music, that place is CRAZY. A facility larger than the biggest Supercenter you can imagine-- think Cabelas but much larger.      Got the VIP treatment from my sales engineer, 12/10 would recommend for any professional in the sound world.       After that I realized I was like 3hrs from Chicago, hit up my fraternity brother from The Ohio State University, and he said come through because it was Lollapalooza weekend. You know ya boi sent it like a piece of mail. Skrillex played Saturday but we were there Sunday, which was stil...

 4:54 AM     As I sit here writing this blog entry, I can't help but feel excited about today. The money came through finally on my grandmother's estate, I'm dropping off the closing documents for the house sale in St. Paris, and the process with the estate is finishing up after a couple of snares. I woke up this morning, pre 4am. I smoked a cigarette, made breakfast, having coffee as I type this. I've got a nice playlist I've found that is actually a playlist that has honestly been pure vibes. NP: "Show Me How" by Men I Trust. I highly  recommend this artist's sound for any morning, seriously.     So, what's next for tracktailor? That's a good fucking question. I wish I had the answer, but I know I will find it in the processes and systems I'm setting in place now. I need to find an early morning to early afternoon gig, with weekends off. I want this job schedule because I would be able to bang out jobs for my business venture in the eveni...

 9:03 PM 07/20/24     Well, since I last posted, A LOT has happened in my life. It's time for a quick recap.  8:40 AM 07/21/24     UPDATE: I passed out so hard last night. Now, I will recap all the "changes" happening in my life.      We moved from one AirBNB to the next for about a week or less, then moved into our new house in Vienna, WV.       I didn't get any of the jobs I applied for. Which might be a good thing. I have been throwing together an idea for a business and with the inheritance check I received yesterday from my grandmother's  estate, this could become a definite reality. I still need to find something during the daytime hours and leave my weekends free to make this side hustle a full time job.      I've played a lot of disc golf, and have spent a lot of time outdoors. My hair is getting more blonde, my skin is becoming tanned, and people tell me I look healthy. I feel healthier but am ...

 10:29AM     Since I've lasted posted, things have been moving. As I type this, I'm sipping coffee at a diner in Marietta, waiting on a steak breakfast that I just ordered. The last time I posted it was before the Holiday that just passed. The holiday treated me well, I saw friends and played a ton of disc golf. Yesterday I played 49 holes.      Still searching for a job. I am at a loss for words on what to do in terms of the job agency and the job they offered me. It's been about a month and they still haven't made a decision, or found a job for me. It's hard to stay in my "mode" of feeling good and working towards my goals, when no one else believes in you, your work  ethic, and what you can do for them.      My mother's birthday is tomorrow. I will admit, there were times in my mental health spat, this day would pass and I would remember weeks later that her birthday was already on a past date. I'm happy I'm finally, FINALLY, feeling ...

 12:58PM     It's Monday early afternoon, and I'm still left questioning if I get a job offer today. This whole process of finding a job down here has been troublesome. I guess it hasn't been as bad as I'm portraying it, but I'm starting to feel a bit worthless as I've not heard back from anyone yet. I just called the staffing company that has found these leads on jobs and is also the same company I interviewed for internally. I'm waiting on a call back for some answers.      Had a call this AM with the investment firm that deals with my family's funds, it will be so good to get something going again with a plan for the future.      We move out of the airbnb we're in now, and head to another one for two weeks starting the Fourth of July this week. Should be in a new house mom's buying by the end of the month. My grandma's house and estate should close by mid month as well.       I'm now less than two weeks out from my show...

 12:24AM     Well, I drank coffee after dinner and now I know I may not sleep this evening. All is not lost, I'm studying wavetables trying to understand how tf serum actually works. I'm 3/20 in the mastering series I found on YouTube. In the first three videos I cannot believe how much I've learned. It's hard for me to watch anything (I don't watch film or television) so finally being able to sit through lessons on topics I'm interested in is refreshing. So far each video is about 20 minutes long and he goes through the VST one component at a time, and then reiterates what he just lectured on at the end of the video to reinforce.     I have been trying to meditate more often (shooting for daily) and this evening was a good session.  Breath work and body scanning have been the topics thus far, and they have helped more than I thought was going to be possible through guided meditation on an iPhone app.       It's astounding to me how muc...

 6:00PM     Today was a successful day in a couple aspects, and the day is still yet to finish.  I had the second interview for a sales position and a premium tent and tiny home company in Marietta. The interview was solid. I killed it. I am confident that I will receive an offer Friday, or Monday at the latest. The interviewer was the head of sales with the company, and he seemed to receive everything I put out there very well. I'm glad I finally have some confidence with the job outlook out here. Shit is seriously depressing, well has been, for quite some time.       The DJ world is definitely not all glitz and glamour as it's sometimes portrayed as. It's empty rooms, bombing sets, forgetting equipment, the list could go on in all the "bad" parts of disc jockeying. I read today that you aren't a real DJ unless you've thought about giving up a couple times. That statement is mostly true, as it isn't an easy career path. The career path part ...

9:15AM      I woke up this morning at my usual time this morning (~7am) as the sun crept in through my blinded windows. As I went through my morning routine of bathroom, coffee, stretching, and breakfast, I hoped again this morning that I'd wake up miraculously with some funds in my bank account. Luckily, today was the day.     Part of the reason I moved back home was to handle the  estate for my late grandmother on my late father's side of the family. Amongst other reasons that I will specifically address I'm sure in a later blog, this was a huge factor in moving home. Not only the estate, but to be closer to my grandmother on my mother's side of the family. I think the death of my grandmother really "kick-started" my mother's ambition to be back home with her mother. Admittedly, it was the change in my life I needed.      A bit of the money finally touched down in my bank account this AM, and I finally have relief on how this month's car pa...

10:02 PM     I've decided to finally start a blog,  specifically involving my life as an artist. On the surface, this is a daunting task to me. I'm hoping that this will be a great outlet, a way to measure and record progress, and an accountability constraint. It is my aim to become more  efficient and effective with my time within the realm of my music and content revolving around the sound.      For those who haven't been around, or I haven't caught up on my life- I moved back to Ohio on the 22nd of May, and it has so revitalizing to my soul.  In the PNW, I felt like I was constantly "wearing a mask" or changing myself like a chameleon to better suit the environment. When I came back to the Ohio valley, I immediately knew this place is what had been missing from my life. This is the  place where I didn't have to change who I was to fit in. This is the place where I standout for eximplary reasons. This is the place I call home.    ...